


Wrong Package

by camichats



Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Drunken Flirting, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 09:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25847656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Tony gets a package in the mail, but it's not what he ordered-- it's his neighbor's. How his neighbor could need this many sex toys when he's that handsome, Tony doesn't know, but he has to return them.
Relationships: Tony Stark/Johnny Storm
Comments: 16
Kudos: 60





	Wrong Package

"What the...?" Tony trailed off, frowning at the box in his hands. These were dildos. He did not order dildos, he'd ordered a tea service for Pepper's anniversary of working for him. Well, technically these weren't  _ just _ dildos, there were two dildos, one cock ring, and a set of butt plugs. He closed the flap of the box to check that this was the right address. It was a hell of a mistake to make, to send him this many sex toys. Ah. Johnny Storm, in the apartment next to his. 

This floor only had four apartments, and two of them weren't being lived in right now. Him and Johnny had chatted a little bit, back and forth. It was never anything big, more like pointing at each other in commiseration when they were both awake at four in the morning. And now, for their first real conversation, Tony had to go and explain that he'd seen his sex toys and sorry but did Johnny have the tea service that he'd ordered? 

Tony left his apartment without bothering to put on shoes, padding over to Johnny's door and knocking with his free hand. "Is this going to be better or worse if he doesn't answer," Tony muttered. Like Tony himself, Johnny held strange hours. There was no telling if he was actually home right now or not. He shifted his weight to one foot and used the other to scratch at his calf, and that's the moment the door opened. Tony sort of lost his balance, but not so much that he fell. 

"What's up?" Johnny said, an amused smile on his face. 

"So this is yours," Tony said. He sort of shoved the box at him. "And um, sorry for opening it but I thought it was mine. I'm not really one to talk, but don't you think you went a little overboard? How sexually deprived can someone that looks like you be?" 

"I'm going to assume that's a compliment," Johnny said, doing his best to pretend like he wasn't blushing. 

"It mostly was. Seriously, you can't be this-" Tony gestured at the box of toys "-hard up for company. I'm right next door and don't have time to go out and meet people, it's not like I'm busy." 

"Why Mister Stark, that sounded like a proposal." He tucked the box as much out of the way as he could and leaned against the door frame. Even in embarrassment, he was suave. 

"That's the way I heard it, but before we get into that, do you have my package? I kind of have to wrap it tonight so that I can bring it in to work tomorrow." 

"Yeah. Thought it was mine," Johnny said with a snort, gesturing for him to come in. Tony followed, closing the door behind him automatically. He tossed the box up on the counter and went over to his couch where he'd put Tony's box. "What is it, anyways?" 

"Nothing as exciting as sex toys. But then, maybe that's what she really needs." 

"I feel like giving your coworker a sex toy would be considered sexual harassment." 

"She's not my coworker, she's my assistant." 

"Ah so she could  _ sue _ you for sexual harassment instead of getting you fired." 

"She wouldn't," Tony said. She'd probably quit flat out if Tony ever gave her a sex toy, but she always let him know when he was starting to cross the line so he'd pull back before anything happened. "I might be a pain in the ass to work with, but she gets better pay with this than she would anywhere else." Tony made a face. "That made me sound like a total asshole. More than I meant it to be. I swear I'm not all bad." 

"Eh, how bad could you really be? You only mocked me a little bit when you brought my shit over. Everybody else I know wouldn't be able to shut up about it." He handed Tony the proper box. 

"I'm not as bad as all your friends," Tony said, nodding. "High praise." 

"Hey man, if you'd met my friends, you'd know how good that is. Assholes they might be, but they are of the highest caliber. Super assholes, you might say." 

Tony snickered and ripped the tape off just to be sure that this was the right box. No need in trekking back to his apartment if this was  _ also _ Johnny's. It was only after he was pulling out stuffing that he remembered he could have checked the name on the shipping label. But it was too late for that, and he saw the pattern that he'd ordered through translucent wrappings. "Thanks," he said, then bent down to shove the packing material back in the box rather than leave Johnny to have to pick it up later. 

"You're not really like I thought you would be," Johnny said. 

"Funnier?" 

"More handsome," he said, and he smirked when Tony glared up at him. 

"Was there something wrong with all my photos that you didn't know that already?" 

Johnny gave a careless shrug. 

Tony snorted, then nodded at him. "Thanks for this." 

"I wouldn't want you to give the present late." 

"And I wouldn't want for you to go around being unsatisfied. Enjoy," Tony said, tossing him a charming smile as he left Johnny's apartment. 

* * *

Someone knocked on Tony's door. He looked through the peephole before answering it because getting held at gunpoint by one crazy fan was more than enough for a lifetime, thanks. It was Johnny, and he pulled it open, bemused. They hadn't really talked since the package mix-up, other than a couple sentences exchanged in the hallway as one of them was heading in and the other was leaving. But now Johnny was standing at his doorway in club clothes. "You need a cup of sugar, neighbor?" Tony said. 

"Something like that," Johnny replied. He was leaning against the wall with one shoulder. There was a casualness to the way he was standing, like he didn't care in the slightest that he was wearing a mesh shirt and pants so tight they looked like a second skin. Tony had been there, but not in a few years. "You ever gone on a date that was so disappointing you feel like you should be compensated for the time you wasted?" 

"Ah," Tony said with an understanding nod, "you came over to complain about boys. In that case, come in." He turned and walked further inside, and Johnny followed him, the door clicking shut. "You need something to drink?" 

"While I could definitely go for some more vodka, I should probably switch to water. Hangovers aren't as fun as they used to be." 

"You don't look drunk." 

"Looks can be deceiving," Johnny said, but Tony figured he was just exaggerating. "And alright this wasn't a  _ date _ date, but we were supposed to go dancing together, get off in the back room, all that good shit and he just... was really fucking racist. Why the hell did he think I'd want to deal with that? Normally, people hide it for a while out of a sense of self-preservation, but I guess this fucker had none of that." 

Tony grabbed a glass and poured him some water. 

Johnny really didn't look-- or sound-- drunk, but he drank the water like he was. "Like, why couldn't he have been like you? You're cool, and hot as hell. If we were dating? I wouldn't have to run away halfway through a date. I wouldn't have to buy a giant box of sex toys because you wouldn't be a mediocre little shit." 

"That's a lot of faith you have in me as your imaginary boyfriend." 

"I am making a point." 

"Uh-huh," Tony said, amused, "and that point is?" 

"That we should have sex. I mean, c'mon. I'm awesome; you're awesome." 

"You're right." 

"I am?" Johnny asked, perking up. 

"You're more drunk than you look." 

Johnny stuck his tongue out at Tony. "I'm... tipsy. Definitely not drunk." 

Tony took the glass from him, refilled it, and handed it back. "How about you drink the rest of that, go back to your apartment, change, and get some sleep?" 

"Or I could drink the rest of this and stay here with you. Just sleeping, I promise. It could be a dangerous trip home if I'm as drunk as you think I am." 

"You live down the hall." 

"I don't have my keys," Johnny said, not missing a beat. 

Tony laughed, holding his hand out for the once-again empty glass. "Fine, you can stay. If I leave you in the middle of the night to work, you don't get to be upset." 

"Do people you date get pissed at you for that?" 

"All the time. Come on, bed's this way." 

* * *

Because Tony was a man of principle-- occasionally-- they didn't have sex that night. They did have sex the next morning though. 

Johnny ruffled a hand through his hair when they agreed to get up and eat breakfast. "Is now a good time to admit that I really did lose my keys?" 


End file.
